Our sleuths have discovered that the hacking scandal has extended to eavesdropping on private conversations between doctors and patients. We have been passed the transcript of one conversation from a surgery somewhere in the Whitehall area.
There was an old woman
Who banked with the Euro.
She had so little money
She didn’t know how to
Pay her bills
And feed her children.
She was up to her neck
In millions of debt.
She was strapped for cash and
Vince Cable has revived his idea for a mansion tax. It (the tax, not the mansion) is demolished here
It is an unfortunate fact that until now, air has been freely available to everyone, and stands almost entirely outside the market system. A promising new technology is being developed which should finally put a stop to this unsatisfactory state of affairs, putting the planet's atmosphere on the same economic footing as the planet's surface.
This development is long overdue, but has been held back by the lack of an effective technology. No-one seriously questions that it is right and proper for people to be able to enclose land and call it "their property". The ability to enclose air in the same way should lead to a significant economic breakthrough which will bring benefits to all.
Scientists are now perfecting the technology which will make it possible to capture and enclose the entire atmosphere of the world, for bottling and re-sale.
The key patent applications are being lodged by OxyCorp Inc, and since the stock of this company is set to soar to stratospheric heights, we advise our readers to buy at the earliest opportunity.
Details of the market model are still to be finalised, but we expect there will be various subscription and bulk-purchase arrangements. Air will, at last, be traded in the markets just like any other commodity.
This produced the following response
On March 8th the Times published a letter from Lord Kalms saying that around 1991 he offered the London School of Economics a grant to set up a Chair of Business Ethics. The faculty rejected the offer as it saw no correlation between ethics and economics. By pure chance a Latvian cleaner at the LSE found what we take as a draft or copy of the rejection letter behind a cupboard. Although we cannot authenticate the letter we take the opportunity of publishing it here today.
There’s no money for this
And we can’t afford that
We have to work harder for longer for less.
Do not shirk
Get some work!
Pay your tax!