Land Value Taxation Campaign

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Dodgy dossier

Welcome to the Dodgy Dossier. Here can be found reports from, amongst other contributors, the Campaign's team of newshounds, as well as our resident economic analyst Charlotte-Anne Schreiber. Some of the stories in this part of the web site may be informative, but please be warned that they have been written with tongue firmly in cheek and should  not be taken too seriously. Have a good laugh!

Infrastructure projects must not be cut

Dodgy Dossier reports that the CBI have issued a warning that Britain's future economic prospects will be severely damaged if the Government goes ahead with planned cuts of £30bn in road, rail and building projects. These feelings were echoed by the Chairman of the Landed Gentry Association who, at a hastily called Press Conference this morning, said,

Last Night of the Proms

Rule Britannia - but who wants waves?
On Saturday the Royal Albert Hall will ring to the stirring refrains of Rule Britannia in the belief that 'Britons never shall be slaves.' Far be it for us to spoil the party, but a moment's thought will show how easily we are beguiled into thinking we are free.


Following publication of the official exchange of monthly letters between the Governor of The Bank of England and The Chancellor of the Exchequer regarding the monthly inflation target we have been passed copies of the private correspondence between the two men. Dodgy Dossier cannot guarantee the validity of the letters but they seem sufficiently genuine for us to reprint them here.

A hymn for Tax Freedom Sunday

It has come to our notice that at many church services this Sunday, July 4th, a special hymn will be sung to celebrate Tax Freedom Day on July 8th. It is estimated that this year, the 187 days between January 1st and July 8th are needed for each and every one of us to pay both our tax and our contribution to the government's budget deficit.

The Department of Work and Prayer has released a copy of the special hymn, and we are pleased to publish the words here in case you may wish to hum it through before attending church.

Hymns Customs & Excise - Revenue No. 427
Tune: Praise my soul the king of heaven

Tax the weak and tax the brave
Tax us to the very grave
Tax our house and home improvements
Tax all our in-her-it-ance

Tax us, tax us
Tax us, tax us,
Tax us morning, night and noon

Tax our bread and tax our butter
Keep us poor for evermore
Tax our drink and little pleasures
Tax them both in equal measure

Tax us, tax us
Tax us, tax us,
Tax us 'till the end of June

Tax our fuel and tax our transport
Tax us extra when we fly
Tax the rich and tax the poor
Tax us more and more and more

Tax us, tax us
Tax us, tax us,
Make us live in pov-er-ty

Tax us while we sleep at night
Tax what's duly our's by right
Tax our wage and unearned income
Don't forget the widow's mite

Tax us, tax us
Tax us, tax us,
Don't forget the Vee Ay Tee

Tax us all for evermore
Tax us all and keep us poor
Tax us at the highest rate
Fill the coffers of the state

Tax us, tax us
Tax us, tax us,
Let us live in pov-er-ty

Massive reserves of LRV discovered in the UK

City skyline
Following her acclaimed analysis of the Emergency Budget, Dodgy Dossier's resident economist Charlotte-Anne Schreiber was yesterday invited to a Press Conference at which it was announced that a source of public revenue far greater than that contributed by the North Sea oil and gas finds had been discovered. What is more, it is environmentally friendly and can be easily collected.

"The source is just below the surface and easy to collect. No danger of spillage or pollution," claims spokesman.

The UK woke up this morning to the news that huge reserves of LRV (above) had been discovered and that taxes on wages, production, goods and services could be reduced to almost zero as a result.

George grasps the nettle but we will all bear the pain

Our resident economist, Charlotte-Anne Schreiber, was in the press gallery of the House of Commons to hear the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, deliver his Emergency Budget speech. Reactions among fellow journalists were mixed, but we are pleased to publish her, as usual, penetrating analysis. Please feel free to circulate her report among your colleagues.

The boy wonder surprised everyone in his first budget speech, but only succeeded in setting a multitude of conundrums and coalition compromises for the pundits to sort out. What are we economists and commentators to make of it? If Harriet Harman's response is anything to go by, there will be fisticuffs 'ere long, mark my words.

I wish I hadn't said that. What are my words?

Well, let's start by asking ourselves a simple question. 'Is it a winning formula or a dog's dinner?'  Or a dog's breakfast?

Emergency Ward Eleven

The team are officially on holiday but we feel duty bound to publish this script passed to us by a contact working on a special comeback edition of the once famous soap opera.

A preview of the build-up episode before Tuesday's exciting budget edition in the House of Cuts.

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