The Headmaster of Westfriars School needs to appoint a new Head Boy to lead the school at the start of the summer term. He has interviewed Gordon Frowne, the Captain of Red House, and has called David Macaroon, Captain of Blue House, into his study for assessment.

Its the end of term at Westfriars School and the Headmaster wants to clear up a serious financial crisis at Red House, where Gordon Frowne is the House Captain.

It is a sign of me getting old or are the Chancellor and his shadows all deeply unimpressive?

Our new expert commentator, leading economist Charlotte-Anne Schreiber, was in the TV audience Monday evening to hear the debate between Alistair Darling, George Osborne and Vince Cable. She was not impressed. Here is her report for the Land Value Taxation Campaign.

We welcome to our production team leading economist Charlotte-Anne Schreiber. Charlotte-Anne studied at St Bart's College, Oxford, graduating with a First in PPE, before moving to Princeton, where she took her Doctorate. She then obtained an MBA at Harvard and has worked for the World Bank, the World Trade Organisation, the European Development Bank, the United Nations and the EU Commission. She is at present an Associate of a leading firm of management consultants. We look forward to reading Charlotte-Anne's penetrating insights on current economic affairs.

Our team of newshounds stalk the corridors, comb the columns and earwig the airways to bring you the latest news, comment and criticism.

Our reporter was able to pose as an illegal immigrant and work as a cleaner at the Treasury with after-hours access to the private office of the Chancellor. In the wastepaper basket several screwed up piece of paper revealed a handwritten draft of a speech that Alasspoor Darling planned to deliver to the House on the occasion of the forthcoming budget. In our latest scoop we are pleased to reproduce the text, word for word. Only the identity of our reporter has been omitted for security reasons. This is what the Chancellor scribbled: