Immediately following the Queen’s speech our two intrepid heroes set off on their quest to find growth – the vital ingredient necessary for a successful and prosperous economy. Growth, it is said, is the missing link between bankruptcy and prosperity. It had not been seen or heard of for ten years or so, and the people’s patience with politicians’ promises was running thin.
Dave and Nick were mates with a mission - they were determined to achieve the impossible, to put new life into old, worn out, second-rate policies and come up smelling of roses.
“We shall need plenty of sharp axes,” said Dave, “I am sure we shall have to cut our way through a number of overspend problems left over from the last lot.”
“Yes,” replied Nick, “and we need plenty of rope to deal with deep deficits. We must be prepared for all eventualities. It is no good hoping something will turn up if we get stuck in a double dip recession.”
“Perish the thought,” said Dave, “but if there is one thing I can say with confidence it is that if growth is out there we promise that we will find it and bring it back to make money, create jobs and build the affordable houses we so desperately need. We know there are no rewards for failure, don’t we Nick?”
“You bet. We are under no illusions as the enormity of our task,” said Nick. “Growth has proved to be illusive, a difficult beast to catch and pin down. Its rather like the Dartmoor Panther – it may exist or it may be a figment of the imagination. One footprint doesn’t make a giant leap forward.”
“Quite,” said Dave. “We need growth to get the economy going and restore confidence and a golden future for our part. I mean the coalition! Let’s go get it!”
And with a final wave our heroes set off into the financial jungle. Will they succeed in their task? Can our heroes find growth in time to rescue the economy from disaster?
We can only wait and see. But in the meantime keep paying your taxes and looking for a job.
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